Today is my last day on the job. Im a very important person at the Palazzo Publishing House. I've been a head receptionist here for fifteen years. Really, I don't know what they're going to do without me. Well, if Dan (thats Mr. O'Reilly to you) asks for my help, I have no choice but to come to the rescue. Dan is the head of the publishing house. He's in love with me, you know. A beautiful woman can always tell these things. He's married, of course. To this blonde bimbo who supposedly use to be a famous model. I get practically every fashion magazine there is and I can tell you I've never seen her grace a page. She's...cute...if you like the obviously exaggerated pretty type. But Dan, well maybe at first he was into that shallow beauty thing, but now that he's older, Im sure he appreciates qualities like grace, intelligence and class. I can see it in his face that he regrets marrying her. But, whats done is done...
So today is my last day here and i can honestly say i am not going to miss this place (with the exception of my Danny). I especially am not going to miss seeing the Bobsey twins, Maribella and Stephanie (who names their child Stephanie nowadays? so unoriginal!). Maribella is my protege, so to speak. They hired her to help me out when the publishing house took off. But between you and me, she is the absolutely worst. Reminds me of a robot, efficient and quick but no personality...no ummfph! She's all 'Yes, Mr. O'Reilly', 'Right away, Mr. OReilly' 'I thought you might need this file, Mr. O'Reilly.' Makes me sick, if i could be blunt. She's not fooling me. I know that she's after my lil' Danny. With her pencil skirt and little blouses. And those annoying little glasses. Doesn't even wear heels! All women should wear heels, especially in a professional setting. I guess she thinks because she's five feet eleven, she can leave the heels to the little people like me. Or maybe the young girls don't believe in high heels now.
Not that Im old. Im only...forty-five...well, okay forty-seven but I guarantee you, I don't look a day over thirty two. Everyone tells me so. I am very picky about what I eat, no carbs, no sugar, no red meat. Im in Pilates classes twice a week (I hear thats how Madonna and that cute girl from Friends stay so beautiful). Plus, I've been using Oil of Olay since I was fifteen.
Speaking of my diet, I hope that my retirement party later on is not full of those God awful cupcakes and artificial fruit juice that the office parties here are infamous for. I don't want to seem ungrateful but I don't want to ruin this figure for anybody. I can tell its going to be one of those surprise parties because so far everyone is pretending they don't remember its my last day. Im guessing that it will be after lunch. That way I can work on my cute but surprised and appreciative face. Most will be sad to see me go. I am the life of the party here whether or not you like my coffee or my "unfriendly demeanor." Mirabella will be doing mental cartwheels when Im gone. That way she can have my man all to herself and move up to head receptionist. Stephanie, too cause then she'll have Mirabella's spot.
But what do I care? I'll be doing more important things...things i've always wanted to but couldn't because of my dedication to Palazzo. Im thinking of taking a cruise but I just wish I had a good girlfriend (or even better, a good man friend) to keep me company. I can get started writing my memoir (Danny said he'd be happy to take a look at it when Im done). Plus, my cats will be thrilled to have me around more. They, too, can't live without me.
Anyway, its almost lunch time now. Time to make my way to the lil girls room, fix my face and get ready for this afternoon's festivities. Caio!
So today is my last day here and i can honestly say i am not going to miss this place (with the exception of my Danny). I especially am not going to miss seeing the Bobsey twins, Maribella and Stephanie (who names their child Stephanie nowadays? so unoriginal!). Maribella is my protege, so to speak. They hired her to help me out when the publishing house took off. But between you and me, she is the absolutely worst. Reminds me of a robot, efficient and quick but no personality...no ummfph! She's all 'Yes, Mr. O'Reilly', 'Right away, Mr. OReilly' 'I thought you might need this file, Mr. O'Reilly.' Makes me sick, if i could be blunt. She's not fooling me. I know that she's after my lil' Danny. With her pencil skirt and little blouses. And those annoying little glasses. Doesn't even wear heels! All women should wear heels, especially in a professional setting. I guess she thinks because she's five feet eleven, she can leave the heels to the little people like me. Or maybe the young girls don't believe in high heels now.
Not that Im old. Im only...forty-five...well, okay forty-seven but I guarantee you, I don't look a day over thirty two. Everyone tells me so. I am very picky about what I eat, no carbs, no sugar, no red meat. Im in Pilates classes twice a week (I hear thats how Madonna and that cute girl from Friends stay so beautiful). Plus, I've been using Oil of Olay since I was fifteen.
Speaking of my diet, I hope that my retirement party later on is not full of those God awful cupcakes and artificial fruit juice that the office parties here are infamous for. I don't want to seem ungrateful but I don't want to ruin this figure for anybody. I can tell its going to be one of those surprise parties because so far everyone is pretending they don't remember its my last day. Im guessing that it will be after lunch. That way I can work on my cute but surprised and appreciative face. Most will be sad to see me go. I am the life of the party here whether or not you like my coffee or my "unfriendly demeanor." Mirabella will be doing mental cartwheels when Im gone. That way she can have my man all to herself and move up to head receptionist. Stephanie, too cause then she'll have Mirabella's spot.
But what do I care? I'll be doing more important things...things i've always wanted to but couldn't because of my dedication to Palazzo. Im thinking of taking a cruise but I just wish I had a good girlfriend (or even better, a good man friend) to keep me company. I can get started writing my memoir (Danny said he'd be happy to take a look at it when Im done). Plus, my cats will be thrilled to have me around more. They, too, can't live without me.
Anyway, its almost lunch time now. Time to make my way to the lil girls room, fix my face and get ready for this afternoon's festivities. Caio!
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